SEMA is now over!!! Yeah! Four days was pushing it this year. Faviola helped to make this show fun as hell with out her don't know what I would have done.
As we speak I'm waiting for the flight attendant to tell me to shut off my computer. 14 hours and 47 minutes is going to be very interesting. Wonder what I can come up with to pass this time. hehehe.
I'll give an update on how SEMA went as soon as I get settled in. Favi and I shot a ton of videos and have to weed out some of the lame ones. K meow that I said all that, it's time to go. First stop is Manila. I'm so excited!
Saturday, November 4, 2006
Wednesday, November 1, 2006
SEMA comedy
..SEMA has been pretty fun this year, thanks to my camera phone. Favi and I are having fun getting our pictures taken and being gawked at every 45-55 seconds. Good stuff. The days are pretty long... 9-5 so I came up witha way to spice it up. ASA (our company) had a few hats for the buyers. We figured we might as well give away a few... but... for a small price. Since I can't post these videos on my real blog here goes...
At the end tell me who your favorite is!!
1.
..
2.
...
3.
.4.
..
Sunday, June 4, 2006
Good times at the LA Gun Club
After doing a fashion show for Junker I decided to take all that adreneline and put it to good use.So I decided to shoot some *ish up. Must be the Texan in me.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Nightmares are back again... :(
Just woke up about an hour ago and I can't stop thinking about my nightmare, so maybe if I write it out it'll go away. I had some pretty crazy dreams last night, but this was the last and most memorable.
I was walking on the strand to my house when I saw an airplane down in the water where the waves are crashing. There is a red and yellow rope that is tied to a wall attached to the airplane holding it in place. I look closer and see two small children playing on the airplane. One little girl is actually inside and poking her head out of the window and the other little boy is up on the tail laughing and having fun.The girl is beautiful with a pink ribbon tied in her long beautiful brown hair. Looking down the shore I see their parents and shout to them to get them off the plane. "It's too dangerous and the tide is coming in!" They just look at me and smile. Now the waves have grown violent and the plane flips over. When it rolls back over the children can't be seen, but you could hear them screaming. The screams echo off the metal in the plane and fill the air with fear. I ran out to the plane but the waves were so strong. I yelled for someone to help but no one was around. I ran up the stairs and screamed help over and over again. Everyone has vanished, including the children's parents. The rope is the only thing holding this plane in place but can't keep it from rotating in the water. I ran back to the waves and feel the icey water against my skin. I take a deep breath and swim to the plane with all my strength. Both kids were inside the plane screaming for help. I manage to get inside through a broken window and find the children.The waves still violent roll the plane under the water and throws us back and forth.There is no air anymore just water that has light shining though from windows, now above us. Being under the water for too long the children weren't moving. I push them through the window and just as I was about to swim though something grabs my arm. When I look it's a dead body that is standing face to face with me. He opens his dark firey eyes and says "We have been waiting." Now the plane is full of passengers that turn around. Everyone is dead with their bodies decayed and eyes that have fire reflecting in them. I've been underwater for so long that my head gets light and my lungs start to burn. I close my eyes and think about the children I still need to save. "I have to save the children" is all I keep hearing in my head. Kicking the zombie in the chest gives me enough push to brake away from his grip and gets myself through the window. I get to the air and my lungs feel as if they are going to explode in my chest. The water is so angry and then the waves suddenly stop. Both children are laying face down in the water next to me. With the last bit of strength I hold onto both and swim to shore. The beach is empty and no one hears my shouts for help. Both children are laying lifeless on the beach. I have to make a decision on who to save first. I kneel down to the boy and preform CPR. After the 2nd attempt he coughs and throws up water. I switch over to the little girl. Her long brown hair is matted to her face. I push it away, the pink ribbon now gone, and try to give her mouth to mouth. Nothing is working. I start crying and then see a tear roll down her face. A loud buzzing sound dances ascoss the ocean and gets louder and louder as the waves begin to crash again. It was my alarm. I wake up and immediately hit the snooze. I was still so upset that I tried to get back in the dream. Now I'm just observing myself trying to save the little girl. I watched myself cry and say I should have saved her first. The snooze on my alarm sucks, rings a minute later, and took me back to reality. Without me saving the little girl.
Sunday, April 9, 2006
It's called Drunk Blog!!!
It's my birthday I'm drunk. SOS spmeone help me it's not healthy to feel this waaaaay don't ....ahhahahahahhh sister just got a bump on the head lllooollll. Xenii rocks private members biotch. Beach slut in 1 hour and 44 minutes. Yum. Drunk. Sister is a whore who likes hot pockets. "Where's all the americans at? "-lil sis.WASTED!!!!!!!!!!!!It's my birthday forgve me for I AM drunk and it's my soster's fault. Think she just broke her toe! sHE JUST ATE SHIT IN THE KITCHEN!!!! cHAMPAGE ALL NIGHT!!! OOOWWW! brOke tOe!
SHAKIRIAshakiraafuckingfunnyfruitrollup
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Death is for the living
I made a final decision today and I must stick to it. Why is letting go so hard to do? I always said I was done, but would be weak and go back. Knowing very well that it was wrong and I would be hurting myself again. The hardest part is the finality of it all. Now I'm faced with the unknown. Unlike most people I hate surprises. I love the fact that the next 50 years of my life has an outline to follow. I know the end result, or so I think I do... but then how can we ever really plan for tomorrow? I may not live to see the next 50 years, hell I may not live to see the end of this month. Losing people that you love the most will do that to you. Especially when you're not ready for them to go.
I lost all of my grandparents by the age of 7. Three of them in the same year. I know that's why I love being around everyone's grandparents or elderly people in general. This year I even lost a man that I adopted as my grandfather. Unfortunately after losing so many people in my life I grew numb. I knew all too well what the sound in my mother's voice meant when I answered the phone. I don't think I ever really cried over it.
Growing up was, to say the least, not easy with many things that will go unmentioned. I confided in my mother's best friend Carol, only I called her Mom. She never had any children and always told me that I was the daughter she always wanted. I knew that even though she was not my biological mom she was my mother and always would be. In her eyes I could never do wrong, no matter all my screw ups, she still loved me. When I was 18, my real mother told me Carol had died in an accident. I just saw her a week before when she came to see my confirmation at St. Philip's. I couldn't understand, I didn't want to believe it. So I pretended that she was still alive and well in San Diego. I couldn't let go. I would still write her letters, but put them in the trash instead of the mailbox. Her picture is right next to my bed and even now it's too hard to look at for too long. Honestly, I still haven't admitted out loud that she is dead.
Only the pain of loosing her was quickly replaced with loosing a man that I loved. We even bought a house together and he told me, for the moment, the house was my ring. And to me, it was the most beautiful ring I had ever seen. When I was 21, I learned all too quickly that life is never guaranteed. I was told over the phone that he was "no longer with us" by an OSI agent with the Air Force. I had missunderstood and thought the man was telling me that he had left the military. And then I hit the floor. I'll never forget that memory. That kind of loss changes you. I barely even spoke for the first month, and once I did it wasn't me anymore. I became numb to the world, my friends, and my family. And I couldn't let him go. If I did he would be gone forever.
Three years pass and my life was slowly coming together. I graduated from the U of A and I was preparing to go to law school. On the way to work one morning I saw that I had a missed call from my Daddy. Having not spoken with him in a while, I called him without listening to the message. I talked to him with excitement and asked him how he was doing. "You didn't listen to the message?" " No Daddy what's wrong?" He hesitated to say it and then the words came out, "Tanya is dead. Car accident." That's all I heard. My oldest sister, dead. Gone. What I would give to go back 5 minutes before that phone call. I was shaking so bad I could barely drive my car. Another memory permantently etched into my mind. This time I treated the death differently. After the first day of knowing I couldn't cry anymore. I made a decision my life was going to change. Life really is too short. I was so unhappy with everything and decided to only do the things that make me happy.
It took about a full year to make the complete change. With the catalyst being the loss of my Uncle twp years prior. Again I didn't want to believe that he was gone. I had to do a lot of soul searching and realized I never grieved his loss. My Dad is a pilot and was never really a big part of my life, he was always overseas. My Uncle Bob was there for all the hollidays, birthdays and all the Uof A basketball games in between. He always made me laugh with the dirtiest jokes. Most of them I never understood until I was older, but they sounded bad. And hearing my mom yell, " Oh Bobby!" let me know a child should not hear such things. And I loved him for that. He never treated me like a child. When he was diagnosed with Cancer a few weeks before Thanksgiving I knew he was going to die. My biggest problem was the Cancer was fast and four months later he had passed away. I had never prepared for it to happen so quickly and never had a chance to say goodbye. Goodbye... I hate that word. My mother has been batteling Breast Cancer since I was a little girl. When I was 5 my mother came home drunk and kneeled down in front of me. She told me that she may not get the chance to see me grow up. I never got over that I don't think. I thank God everyday, that at the age of 26, despite all the scares she is still a survivor and still in my life. Deep down I was hoping the same would happen with my Uncle Bob. That by some miracle his tumor would dissapear and everything would go back to the way it was.
All of these things have taught me so much about life. Wanting things to be the way they were will only bring you down. The beauty of life is that it changes and you must change with it. Expectations are pointless and wanting superficial things to make you feel better is just plain ignorance. The one person that should love you the most, is yourself. We are the only ones that can make ourselves happy. And only we can make changes needed in our lives in order to be happy. And that is why I'm writing this. I have changed my life already. The ocean is litterally my back yard, I'm modeling full time and I play poker professionally. And even then I'm not truly happy. That is why I must let go, as hard as it is to do, it's the only way. So today, March 28th, 2006, I finally let go of ALL the things that hold me back. It's time to open the door that stands before me and walk though it. All the baggage will be left behind. This step is going to be difficult. It's not going to be easy. However, I must do this to move on, or I'll never truly be happy.
I lost all of my grandparents by the age of 7. Three of them in the same year. I know that's why I love being around everyone's grandparents or elderly people in general. This year I even lost a man that I adopted as my grandfather. Unfortunately after losing so many people in my life I grew numb. I knew all too well what the sound in my mother's voice meant when I answered the phone. I don't think I ever really cried over it.
Growing up was, to say the least, not easy with many things that will go unmentioned. I confided in my mother's best friend Carol, only I called her Mom. She never had any children and always told me that I was the daughter she always wanted. I knew that even though she was not my biological mom she was my mother and always would be. In her eyes I could never do wrong, no matter all my screw ups, she still loved me. When I was 18, my real mother told me Carol had died in an accident. I just saw her a week before when she came to see my confirmation at St. Philip's. I couldn't understand, I didn't want to believe it. So I pretended that she was still alive and well in San Diego. I couldn't let go. I would still write her letters, but put them in the trash instead of the mailbox. Her picture is right next to my bed and even now it's too hard to look at for too long. Honestly, I still haven't admitted out loud that she is dead.
Only the pain of loosing her was quickly replaced with loosing a man that I loved. We even bought a house together and he told me, for the moment, the house was my ring. And to me, it was the most beautiful ring I had ever seen. When I was 21, I learned all too quickly that life is never guaranteed. I was told over the phone that he was "no longer with us" by an OSI agent with the Air Force. I had missunderstood and thought the man was telling me that he had left the military. And then I hit the floor. I'll never forget that memory. That kind of loss changes you. I barely even spoke for the first month, and once I did it wasn't me anymore. I became numb to the world, my friends, and my family. And I couldn't let him go. If I did he would be gone forever.
Three years pass and my life was slowly coming together. I graduated from the U of A and I was preparing to go to law school. On the way to work one morning I saw that I had a missed call from my Daddy. Having not spoken with him in a while, I called him without listening to the message. I talked to him with excitement and asked him how he was doing. "You didn't listen to the message?" " No Daddy what's wrong?" He hesitated to say it and then the words came out, "Tanya is dead. Car accident." That's all I heard. My oldest sister, dead. Gone. What I would give to go back 5 minutes before that phone call. I was shaking so bad I could barely drive my car. Another memory permantently etched into my mind. This time I treated the death differently. After the first day of knowing I couldn't cry anymore. I made a decision my life was going to change. Life really is too short. I was so unhappy with everything and decided to only do the things that make me happy.
It took about a full year to make the complete change. With the catalyst being the loss of my Uncle twp years prior. Again I didn't want to believe that he was gone. I had to do a lot of soul searching and realized I never grieved his loss. My Dad is a pilot and was never really a big part of my life, he was always overseas. My Uncle Bob was there for all the hollidays, birthdays and all the Uof A basketball games in between. He always made me laugh with the dirtiest jokes. Most of them I never understood until I was older, but they sounded bad. And hearing my mom yell, " Oh Bobby!" let me know a child should not hear such things. And I loved him for that. He never treated me like a child. When he was diagnosed with Cancer a few weeks before Thanksgiving I knew he was going to die. My biggest problem was the Cancer was fast and four months later he had passed away. I had never prepared for it to happen so quickly and never had a chance to say goodbye. Goodbye... I hate that word. My mother has been batteling Breast Cancer since I was a little girl. When I was 5 my mother came home drunk and kneeled down in front of me. She told me that she may not get the chance to see me grow up. I never got over that I don't think. I thank God everyday, that at the age of 26, despite all the scares she is still a survivor and still in my life. Deep down I was hoping the same would happen with my Uncle Bob. That by some miracle his tumor would dissapear and everything would go back to the way it was.
All of these things have taught me so much about life. Wanting things to be the way they were will only bring you down. The beauty of life is that it changes and you must change with it. Expectations are pointless and wanting superficial things to make you feel better is just plain ignorance. The one person that should love you the most, is yourself. We are the only ones that can make ourselves happy. And only we can make changes needed in our lives in order to be happy. And that is why I'm writing this. I have changed my life already. The ocean is litterally my back yard, I'm modeling full time and I play poker professionally. And even then I'm not truly happy. That is why I must let go, as hard as it is to do, it's the only way. So today, March 28th, 2006, I finally let go of ALL the things that hold me back. It's time to open the door that stands before me and walk though it. All the baggage will be left behind. This step is going to be difficult. It's not going to be easy. However, I must do this to move on, or I'll never truly be happy.
Friday, February 24, 2006
Last day of fashion week in Vegas
I survived, but the feet may have to be amputated. LOL. Yep my toes hate me right now along with my stomach. Yesterday was the last day of working for Seven Jeans. Taking Teresa's advice I bought a new pair of shoes that worked out great. Durring lunch I set the alarm on my phone and took a nap in the back dressing room. It must have been a sight to see, cause TK and a few others peeked their head in and said I looked cute. Somehow being curled up in the corner of a dressing room doesn't sound cute to me. JK. Anyway, the day went by pretty fast and beforeI knew it I was in my car headed for the Bellagio.
This Master Cleanse isn't so bad after all, except for later on that night, but I'll get to that in a sec. I had so much energy, can't explain it, but I felt more alert and on top of it than I have in a very LONG time. I do notice thatmy memory is not so good on this cleanse. I was talking about Rwanda and couldn't recall certain events. * if you know me, you'd know how importantit is * Even when I walked into the Bellagio I forgot what I was doing. Went straight to the poker room! HaHa. Had to turn around and walk over to Light.The nightclub isright by the poker room so I didn'tfeel like a complete jackass. Here's the word from eye on las vegas about the show:
Thursday night Light will roll out a 30-foot catwalk for the launch and premiere fashion show for Nicky Hilton Beverly Hills. A VIP reception at Caramel bar and lounge from 10-11:30pm will kick off the night and the fashion show introducing Nicky Hilton's new line will take place at Light promptly at midnight. Expect to see Nicky's parents in attendance as well as a handful of Nicky's socialite friends. This will be a first, as Light will be filming a web cast that will go out to 50 million viewers across the globe. Doors at Light open at 10:30.
The show was excellent. Ididrunway for Nicky Hilton's new line. Very cute contemporarystyle. Nicky Hilton's a smart girl, and really nice too.At the showI only knew a few of the models this time. Everyone was pretty cool except for acouple that weren't very friendly. Oh well, there's always one, if not more at afashion show, just have to expect that. We were all there at 7pm for hair and makeup/ styling/ runthrough. The actual fashion show didn't happen till a little after midnight. Everything went great, lots of people, photographers, and FTV was doing a live feed of the show. Runway is my favorite part of modeling. The energy and the adrenaline you get is better than any drug. All the buildup gets released once you get up on the catwalk and ten minutes later you're done. I always think of the movie Rounders, " I feeeel soo un-sat-iiis-fiied." I had so much energy that I wanted to do five more shows! Instead I left and went to TAO to see Favi. By that time it was 2am and I must have beenthe only sober person in Vegas. Everyone was wasted and having a great time. Here's where this stupid Master Cleanse almost went out the door. It wasn't over food, if you can believe it. When we got to our table I was given a glass of Crystal. *Champagne is my weakness* Mother F*&! Iforlornlyreplied no thank youand watched everyonedrink champagne while eatingyummy chocolate and strawberries. Now if that's not called HELL...
Today is now day four on the MC and I'm certain that I'll make it to day 10. Which is really more like day 14, sinceyou can only have OJ the first few days. It'sto ease your body back into digesting food. :( Daydreams of In-N-Out, sushi (yellowtail and salmon sashimi),Vietnamese imperial rolls, Pho, filet mingon, any itallian dish (ravioli prefferably), and quite frankly any thing edible come to mind about every half minute of the day. My biggest problem is choosing what I want to eat for my first meal. There's plenty of time to figure that one out. Any suggestions?
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